Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
