You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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