Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
