one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
