He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
