I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
