he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
