not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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