yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
