So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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