ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
