I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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