there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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