I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
