Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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