Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is wine microwaveable?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
