he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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