How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
