He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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