You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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