she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
