I am puke
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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