Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize