Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
