weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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