My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
