he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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