I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
