I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
