I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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