She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize