Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Two words: nipple clamps
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