it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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