I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize