I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
