your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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