im drinking this country out of the recession.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
