I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
