Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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