I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
