Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
