So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
