How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
