This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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