Where did you get a picture of my penis
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
