so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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