dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
