It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I bet he comes in French.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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