hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
