i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
