so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
