I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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