i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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