In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
