I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
