are you still at the devil's house?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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