It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize