You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
