We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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