i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Alive.
So much puke
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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