We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize