I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
