I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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